If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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