So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
