More tranny stories later!
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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