My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
