Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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