I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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