So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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