Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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