You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
