Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
