is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
