once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
