Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
