you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
