wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I had to cum in my sink.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
