i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize