When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Acid is not a monday night drug
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
