I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
