forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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