know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
