I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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