If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
