i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
