Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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