people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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