Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
