i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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