I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
