I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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