this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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