pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just pynch a tree in the face
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
