Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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