I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
