Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Drake has all the answers
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
