If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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