i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
