A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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