You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
