very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
