remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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