at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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