she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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