Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
