there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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