I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
