Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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