I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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