I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
