Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
