My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i think i just lost a toe
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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