Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
