it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
